How to love yourself: 10 steps to gain confidence and high self esteem

Updated: Feb 12, 2021

Loving yourself is honestly just accepting who you are and what you look like. Self loathing is such a easy thing to do but being able to go out into the world with your head held high is tough but doable. These steps will help you become the best version of yourself and be appreciative of who you are.

Step 1 ~ Stop Restricting yourself

When you catch yourself shying away or creeping back into your shell, DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE. If you find yourself loving a song whilst on a walk and dancing, and you catch someone staring and you stop. Don’t. Dance bigger and add in a crazy dance move. By doing this it helps towards your confidence ( which means not caring about what people think). It helps you not only enjoy your walk more but be okay with looking crazy which is one step closer to loving and being comfortable with who you are.

Step 2 ~ List all the things you like about yourself and stick it on the mirror

Compile the things that you like about who you are, for example nice eyes, compassionate, and understanding. By creating a list you slowly come to realize the amazing individual you are and notice your own potential. Being reminded of your best attributes allows you to see your worth. Reading the notes whilst looking in the mirror does wonders to your confidence. Soon you will behave in way that shows off what you have been telling yourself daily.

Step 3 ~ Start a self care routine

Taking care of your appearance, and hygiene makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin, therefore having confidence in the way you look. Investing into a skin care routine is beneficial.

Your face is one of the first things you see in the morning and how nice would it be if it was clear and bright. A skin care routine can do just that. Taking daily showers would help towards appreciating your body. Taking measures to make sure you smell good, have healthy hair and good skin creates a calming aura because you are more relaxed and comfortable with the body you have.

Step 4 ~ Speak Up

If it is that promotion you wanted, confessing your love for someone or even addressing the waiter/waitress that got you order wrong. By not saying anything you are only hurting yourself. Finding the courage to speak up is difficult if you are shy away from people and uncomfortable situations but you will struggle in life if you just don’t say what you want. You need to remember you have control over your life and the outcomes. Start off by telling someone something that you wish they would change that is small. Overtime you will grow the courage to take initiative to let more people know your opinion, goals and wants. Walking with confidence to say as you please and reach for success.

Step 5 ~ Value your time

The average awake time is 15 hours every day. Realizing that time frame puts into perspective the many tasks you can complete. Wasting your time on daydreaming and the what if’s? of life. Is taking time away from the work you can put in to create a better life for yourself. Maximizing you’re time effectively helps you become more confident because you would be more prone not reflect on the negatives of life and caring about what people think about you because you are to busy working out, praying and creating healthy habits for your life.

Step 6 ~ Cut off those that undermined and don't appreciate you

Individuals you undermine your success and are not appreciative of the person you are does not deserve you. I bet you have a couple people that comes to mind when you read that. They will not only stunt your growth as a person but hold you back from being the best version of yourself and those that are people that won’t compliment you when you look great or beautiful and would say things like “ aren’t you wearing too much makeup” or “your doing too much”. Having losers around will make you a loser so dump them whilst you can.

Step 7 ~ Regularly date yourself

Take yourself out and do something you enjoy alone. Loneliness is the best character building strategy and being alone doing an activity you love. Makes you realize just how amazing you are. Treating your self is in other words is being kind to yourself. Get dressed and go. Dinner for one at your favorite restaurant, just because or a buy that watch you always wanted. Treating yourself the way a significant other would treat you, makes you realize your worth and to NEVER settle down for anything else.

Step 8 ~ Be selfish

When that coworker wants you to take their shift or you have plans but your friend insists you cancel it for them or even just taking the last slice of pizza. Putting yourself first, taking what you want and saying no. Is the best thing you can do for yourself because it makes you not become overwhelmed with the outcome of the yes and not really enjoying yourself. But also helps you value your time and what you want to do. So be selfish say NO.

Step 9 ~ Dream big

Having a dream gives you something to strive towards, this helps with gaining confidence because focusing on what you want out of life. Forces you to come out of your shell and realize your potential, therefore becoming the best version of yourself. Dreaming creates pride. Taking pride in what you have done in life makes you feel better about yourself. So find out what you really want in life and find ways to get it.

Step 10 ~ Get a journal

Writing down your day, feelings and secrets makes you realize the strength you have. By writing what has happened in your life gives you a sense of relief and closure. Therefore moving on with your life and striving for happiness. Writing about your life gives you something to look back on when your successful and is a positive thing to do. So write how you feel about yourself. Journals makes you get real with yourself and helps you understand and appreciate your strength. Therefore one way closer to completely being okay with who you are.

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